Crikey!

Part 1 of what it’s really like living ‘downunder’, riding kangaroos and defending yourself from drop bears!

I read a post the other day from a lady who thinks that Australia doesn’t exist, conspiracy theory: England actually killed all of the convicts, one of the world’s biggest mass murders, and to cover this up England created this place called ‘Australia’, so realistic right?! Hahaha! Let’s set the record straight, we do not ride Kangaroo’s, drop bears don’t exist, not everything in Australia is trying to kill you (unless you argue that a pavlova is from New Zealand), and we do not eat a tablespoon of vegemite for breakfast- that’s gross, we have it on toast people- IT’S DELICIOUS! Australia is young, its attractive, and it’s got a brilliant sense of humour- what more could you want on a first date, right?! For those of you thinking of coming to Australia I’m going let you in on how awesome it is, if you are Australian, well grab a Bundy Rum, sit back and get ready to relate!

First of all, the weather; The weather depends on where you are, Melbourne is often joked about as having ‘four seasons’ in one day, it’s not funny though when it’s true, on the other hand, or on the other side of Australia, you’ll be sat sweltering in the heat of NT or North QLD or WA, watching as English backpackers, walk back to their hostels like they’ve been covered in something icky, when really they’ve been burnt to the crisp and can’t touch anything for the next week without hearing ‘ouch’. Hint: sunscreen and Aloe Vera does wonders!

What language do they speak in Australia? Answer: Bogan! Haha just kidding, surprise, surprise we speak English, and a very grammatically correct and sophisticated English at that! Below are just some phrases that you must know before you land in OZ, otherwise, like Johnny Depp’s dog’s, you’ll be made to leave!

–          “Barbie”: Barbecue- none of this Barbie and Ken action

–          “Snag”: Sausage, more precisely: sausage on bread- a staple for any healthy Aussie!

–          “Dry as a dead Dingo’s Donger”: Bloody dry!

–          “Dunny”: toilet or restroom

–          “Sparrows fart”: dawn

–          “strewth”: exclamation

Now that’s only a couple! and as you can tell, we are so sophisticated! Comment some more down below! If you like this blog post, and want a part 2, please like and subscribe for more blog posts, peace out,

Hippie! 🙂